Soothing RAIN
It can be challenging to know how to bring compassion to difficult situations without becoming burned out or overwhelmed. The process of RAIN is a helpful resource.
RAIN
RAIN is an acronym: Recognize. Allow. Investigate. Nurture. Each letter stands for one step of an accessible, effective 4-step practice that applies mindfulness and self-compassion to facing challenging emotions. The 4-step process of RAIN helps us direct our mindfulness toward, and not away from, a negative emotion, to see our reality from a bird’s eye view so that we can calm ourselves and recover a “full heart and spirit” (Tara Brach, Radical Compassion, p.4). The process of RAIN can help us be our own caregiver or the best version of a parent to ourselves when facing stress.
Recognize. (What is happening) We recognize what we are experiencing. We bring ourselves into the present moment, asking: “What is happening inside me right now? What emotions and sensations am I most aware of?”
Allow. (To be just as it is) We pause to acknowledge and allow the way things are, without judging. There is nothing wrong with having emotions, and we can trust that our senses are connecting us with a wider way of knowing and feeling. This is not the same as immediately accepting the circumstances that are activating us. Rather we are just allowing our emotions to connect us with the reality and truth of the moment.
Investigate. (With gentle, curious attention) The fight-flight response flares up to protect us psychologically. If it goes unchecked, our thoughts will naturally rush to old wounds and stories. The process of Recognizing and Allowing intercepts that unchecked reactivity, making a little space for us to investigate with gentle, curious attention. We investigate by checking into our bodies and thoughts in real time, perhaps asking questions such as:
There is a story going on in my head. What is the most painful part of that story?
Where are my feelings about this strongest in my body?
What are the feelings like (shaking, hot…)?
What does this part of me most need?
Nurture. (With loving presence). The first three steps become an entryway for us to be more self-compassionate, in ways that we might have bypassed before. As we sense what is needed, we can respond lovingly with words (“It’s ok”), touch (hands on heart), images (loving friend or spiritual figure) or energy (presence of warmth or light).
Insight and Energy
This process of RAIN interrupts any downward spiral of emotion and allows us to pause and bring calm to our situation. Pausing, investigating with curiosity, nurturing ourselves – these give us some inner space to attune to and regulate our powerful emotions. When we’re more settled, we can access the reflective parts of our mind to see more clearly and consider our options, to act with more insight and wisdom.
The RAIN process may also help us access a spiritual energy or power, to approach pain from a deeper place of listening for the sacred voice within. Spiritual practices like meditation, centering prayer, and contemplative walks in nature can help us prepare our minds to pause, notice thoughts, and be present, so that when we are in a stressful moment, we can let RAIN support us in accessing this sacred voice
Reflection and Sharing
1. Which of the steps of RAIN (Recognize… Allow… Investigate… Nurture) seem more helpful?
2. Which of the steps of RAIN (Recognize… Allow… Investigate… Nurture) seem more challenging?
Resources
Brach, Tara (2019). Radical Compassion. New York: Viking